Big ‘T’ Trauma and Little ‘t’ Trauma: And why it matters
As someone who has had some pretty significant traumatic events in their life, and been through quite a bit of therapy, what I didn’t expect was to still have to work on the little trauma’s.
We typically identify Big ‘T’ trauma as something that threatened or caused violence or body harm, including sexual violence.
Little ‘t’ trauma are all the other things that may cause emotional harm. Things like relationship conflict, divorce, financial worries, or emotional neglect.
Here’s a great article that goes into more detail.
In my case the little ‘t’ trauma were the things my father said, like “If you’re going to cry- go to your room” or “Get your head out of your a**” (I was often accused of day dreaming, which I now realize was probably disassociation). He never wanted to go to my school plays or concerts, and it was a fight to get out of the house. To this day I still get anxious about being late because we were always late when I was a kid.
So, why does this matter? We tend to think we can just pull ourselves up by our bootstraps and keep going. Yet, these little ‘t’ traumas can have an impact on our self-worth and our self-esteem. Sometimes they can have a cumulative effect that can lead to depression or ptsd.
I was in an amazing group therapy program, and I remember one of the members of our group breaking down crying because she didn’t have the same traumatic events that I did, but she just couldn’t manage life. And my heart went out to her, and our therapist was very clear that all those little traumas can have just as big of an effect.
So, please don’t discount the things that have happened or may be happening in your life. They can have a serious impact on your health and well-being. If you are struggling please see someone. I’m very grateful for the therapists that helped. me through some rough times.
I’ve worked with quite a few clients who were in therapy while also having life coaching with me. It’s actually a great pairing because therapy helps clear out the past and free clients from their grip, while life coaching is much more future focused. Plus, when something from their past comes up in coaching, then they can go and work on it with their therapist.
